Its been a long time since I’ve written on this blog-
there’s been so much learning, shifting, healing, expansion, constriction,
resistance in the past few years- I needed some time for me. Some time to sit
with all of it and let it compost, let it sink into my bones, my cells and
become a greater, truer part of me before or even if, I shared with you all. I
needed to worry less about proving the worth of my journey and simply be on
this windy path…for me. And that
took a while. To know that doing all of this work, this deep intense soul
searching and reclamation- regardless if I ever wrote a book, a blog entry,
spoke at events, shared it with anyone- to know that I was worthy of going down this path for my
happiness, for my sanity, for my joy, for my truth, for my voice, for me. It’s a journey I see more and more
people undertaking in a myriad of ways- whether it be therapy, travel, yoga, retreats,
reading, more quiet time… there is a restlessness I see, a discontent - where consumption
is not filling the void, the discomfort with self, with inauthenticity. I see it as more of my friends and acquaintances
hang up their shingles as therapists, coaches, healers, yoga teachers, dance
teachers and who create thriving businesses. I see the call back to the body
and out of our head and ego. I see
and meet so many more people on this path- needing to be witnessed, seen and
honored. That was missing for me
in many ways on my journey. I wasn’t able to witness and honor myself many
times. Instead I beat myself up, made myself wrong…again and again and again
and that is where so much of my pain was birthed. Me resisting who I was, resisting this circuitous, path, this
unique path. Me believing the
patriarchy, family and culture was right- believing more in them than myself. Wanting
to just be done with it so I could finally fit in. I came to learn that fitting in still didn’t mean the peace I
longed for. I missed my 20 high school reunion, friends birthdays, baby
showers…I had to stray off the path to find my path. So here I am- sharing for
those who are drawn, who perhaps need some love, some witnessing, some resources.
I desire to create a safe place
for you to visit as you wind your way through your circuitous path. The
powerful and in some ways easy thing is, it always leads back to yourself, it
leads back to your heart, your truth and your wisdom. The external reference points become less and less
meaningful and the freedom is greater. And not that I have answers for you, but
perhaps I have some wisdom gained along my journey that can gently guide you
back to you- that can support you in less judgment, less shame, more love, more
joy, more connection. Which I
believe is truly a beautiful world.
